you turn to the wizard and begin to speak but he holds up a finger to forestall you. "I must ask you a question and if you answer correctly you may accompany the gnome to your destination. answer poorly and you shall die."

you say a silent prayer to the god of wisdom and gesture to the wizard to proceed.

the wizard says "the question is simple. what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" you answer thusly:

"what? I don't know that!"
"umm...five! no three!"
"what does 'air speed velocity' mean exactly?"
"what do you mean, African or European?"